Welcome to the page dedicated to all my current stories. When I say “current” I am meaning within this year. This will be plastered with any interesting story or blurb I feel I want to write about. DUH. My other stories are based on the past going back as far as 30 years or more. Yeah, I’m getting old here and it’s time to yap yer eyes out.
I cannot guarantee that any current story is going to be of any interest to you. Shit, this is probably going to be the most boring blog ever, but it’s my blog, so fuck off. Want the most current story right now? This fuckin dog in the living room won’t stop farting and as I type this, I’m holding onto my vomit. Smells like shit. Probably because farts come from assholes where shit comes from. Seems logical. The joys of couch surfing I’ll tell ya.
Anyways, sitting here with my laptop to share my life with you is pretty gnarly for me but I figure, shit … I post my opinion and stories on social media all the time and don’t get paid shit all the while some fuck at FaceBoook is sitting in a hot tub with no worries in the world living off of my efforts and pain. Fuck that. I’m living a fucked reality and making money for other’s the whole time? Naw … time for my own blog, which I’ve done now. So here we go. Hope you enjoy some of my current stories, if not, I don’t blame you but I still have to let you know “fuck you”. As you read my current stories, if you feel like shopping and buying expensive things, do it here so I can keep sharing stories. If not, nothing new … been broke all my life anyways.
My Crappy Thanksgiving Part 2
So if you already read the first story about my Thanksgiving Day, you know I’m just not feeling it this year and probably any year hereafter. As promised from the first part, here is the extension of my horrible Thanksgiving holiday.
So, you want to know how much worse it could be for a guy like me? Well, let’s just say that the title is already an innuendo, a well punned title. Yes, let’s talk feces shall we. FUCK. Yeah, disgusting to even say, right? Well it gets worse cause I got to experience this shit. <—- punned again
Awakened From My Slumber on Thanksgiving Day
So while sleeping with a buzz, my friend’s telephone rings and it’s my friend’s landlord. Yeah, his landlord, and he’s calling for me. You see, the landlord knows I have been couch surfing for free over the course of this last year and suffers from Multiple Sclerosis. The landlord happens to live a house over from my friend’s and knowing I don’t pay rent, and knowing that normally I should be on the lease, he devised the awesome plan to have me assist him daily randomly as needed in exchange for the free rent. So Thanksgiving evening is no exception and I’ve been called to help the old man to bed.
Now the thing with this old man is that he sends some odd signals that make me uncomfortable sometimes. I always just brush it off, or furiously comb until the tangle of belief is straightened out better. Anyhow, he calls me in to lift him from his wheel chair into his bed, but this time something is a bit off … oh, yeah, the old fucker is stripped down to just some butt huger underwear that’s stretched out so his fuckin dong is hanging out of it, but that just couldn’t be enough, no, it couldn’t … not for my luck.
Now Cover Your Eyes and Try Not to Puke Up Thanksgiving Dinner
The old man is asking me to carry him into his bed but there’s something odd, a smell. It smells like fuckin ass! What’s worse is the old man has some greasy like substance all up his forearms and it smells like literal shit. Now normally you could call me paranoid, but no, unfortunately this guy is a constant perv as is. Usually it’s talk about females, but I’ve gotten some sick vibes off the old fucker. Anyways I lifted him to his bed as quick as possible without vomiting or throwing out my back that is recovering from being broken still.
He tried to keep me around saying I needed to climb onto his bed and fix his pillows. I managed just fine without getting onto this creeps bed. If you ever watched the Simpson’s, he looks like Mr. Burns. Add to it that I am straight and you quickly can gather how disturbing this all is. I could not shower enough after helping this weird gross dude.
Like, what the fuck did he do? Fist himself with both arms up his ass? How the fuck does one do this in his condition? Beats me and I don’t want to know. Fuck that.
Yeah, Thanksgiving Sucks Even More Than This …
To add to the drama of the day is my emotional state. It actually was my birthday this Thanksgiving as well as the anniversary of my biological mother’s death. Add to that everyone else that is dead and me having a feverish cold and pained back …. it was the shittiest day I’ve had in a few days, maybe weeks. As I write my short stories and you read them, you’ll learn that you are lucky … even on a bad day. Anyways, I promised a conclusion to all 20 of you readers and here you have it. I’m going to bed now.